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In the past 3 years I have seen all sorts of marital discord in my life and now I am currently getting a divorce. I used to think that nothing could be worse than to have something like this happen. It has been 6 months since he took his leave of permanent absence. I am a changed person. I am forever changed for the better. I would have never thought that in the past. I now know that I can endure most anything and become a better person for having done so. I never thought I would make my feelings about this issue in my life so public, but I have learned I have nothing to be shameful about. He decided it wasn't working for him and in retrospect I'm glad he departed because I would have never bailed on the vows I made, even though I now know I am better off living my life outside of that marriage that was making me insane. I do not harbor bad feelings towards him, only towards his infidelity and actions thereof. I can only wish him well as he is the father of my beautiful son. I hope he finds what he is looking for in life. I thank him for leaving and make this public so that if anyone else out there is suffering through a bad relationship that robs them of "self" for the sake of "vows", please know that life goes on.....it goes on with or without....them. Furthermore....if someone has left you and you feel that life is over...please read this. This one piece of advice given to me long ago got me through the roughest days.
Maximum Capacity
It is the natural order of things that a container can contain only so much. When it's full, you can fit no more. A one-gallon jug holds one gallon, and no matter what you do you can't fit two gallons into a one-gallon jug.
Ever been in a busy elevator? When the elevator stops there's always some idiot trying to rush into the elevator without letting people out of the elevator first.
Everything has a maximum capacity. Hearts and minds are the same way.
It's a scientific fact that if I read you a list of 20 nouns, you will only be able to remember 7 of them at once. If you remember an 8th that means you'll have forgotten one of the others.
When you're in love with someone, that person becomes like the sun. When you look at the sun, its brilliance blinds you to everything else. It's only when you stop looking at the sun that everything else comes back into focus.
For whatever reason, for better or worse, it doesn't look like this relationship you are in is going to pan out. Strange though it may seem, that's a good thing. As your love and your sorrow fade away, it's like emptying. As bad as that feeling is, that's a good thing too. It's only once you've emptied that you can start to fill again.
Just like the sun, once you turn your head, everything else comes back into focus. You'll again see things you'd forgotten, and maybe see a few new things you never noticed.
If this love isn't going to work out, then it's good that things are ending. If he or she is not the one, then they deserve no space in your heart or mind. Clearing it away makes space for someone who does deserve it.
"ohhh life goes on and it's only going to make me strong"
"wish I knew then what I know now...."
"once you get on board say goodbye because you can't go back"
"life goes on" | |
